I don't mean we should all walk around being miserable - not by a long shot. I do truly believe there is so much in the world to be positive about, but sometimes when things become too much I feel so alone and even though logic tells me otherwise all I see is a world of happy, bubbly people and I wonder what is wrong with me. I'm discovering through my writing that I am actually pretty normal, or that is the conclusion I am coming to, whatever normal might be. Maybe I just think I am normal, because it is my definition.
I can't see how it could be normal to be up, bubbly and enthusiastic every second of every day. Maybe in a fantasy world but even then I don't think so. Wouldn't we just stagnate? Isn't a little bit of questioning and discontent necessary to bring about change or at least appreciation for everything life has handed us? I am asking lots of questions today but that is how my mind works. The answers come slowly, although sometimes not at all, but I think the secret to our happiness is in the questions that we ask and the answers that we seek. How else can we hope to understand ourselves? I have been asking many, many, many questions, maybe even too many over the last week or so but I am happy to say I have also discovered some answers.
I used to ask why and expect something outside of myself to answer. Often I didn't even want an answer it was more a complaint, a why me, without any effort in discovering the answer on my part required. That didn't get me far. Neither has a lot of my practises but I am really trying to change that so I can change funk to spunk and I can move ahead either in a new direction or follow the same path with new purpose and resolve.
There are many different paths to choose,
|This one was at Rainbow Beach in QLD|
|This one on Fraser Island|
|This one at a beach on the Sunshine Coast|
But ultimately it will be my decision which direction I choose to head and mine alone and that is something I am going to embrace. Fear may be natural and to a certain extent necessary but it should never be crippling.
Life is for living, not just existing!