It would seem that I don't have time to fit a job into my schedule and possibly I don't but I have always been amazed at what can be achieved when a sufficient dose of desire is added to the mix. Yes, I will continue to home school my children, and yes I will continue to write every day, and yes I will even attempt to find time to sleep in there somewhere. The job is only part time so I should be fine. If not, I will find a way to make it so.
Back to my original question, what is "You've got nothing to lose," supposed to mean? How is it supposed to offer comfort? Of course, I have something to lose, otherwise I wouldn't be concerned about the outcome. I have the dream of the ideal lifestyle for my family to lose and I have a little bit of me to lose too.
I don't tend to spend much time on things that don't mean something to me. If I did, I would have lost one of the most precious commodoties of modern day living - time. I know some people claim they have too much time on their hands but not many. I like to be busy. I like to have just that little bit more to do than I have time to achieve, maybe I am a touch insane, but I like to feel I have something to get on with. Don't think that means that I live a frantic life, quite the opposite.
Some of the things on my to do list are:
- plan next terms home schooling, especially the science which I have barely looked at,
- write up the end of term reports that I like to put together for both the kids and my benefit
- read the countless books scattered around my house and on my 'books I want to read' list,
- take a photographic journey of my local beaches,
- write a collection of personal essays,
- attend a drawing class,
- explore the National Parks and kayak the many waterways that make up the area I live in
- and, catch up with friends that I haven't seen for way too long.
This list is far from exhausted; in fact it is only the beginning. I have left off the things I have to do, food shopping, washing, vacuuming blah, blah, blah. Domestic goddess I am not! I am more a do what has to be done goddess. I have friends that love housework, or if they don't love it, they still dedicate what seems like most of their waking hours to it, that is not me, nor will it ever be.
I forgot to mention doing the books for the business, it's end of financial year time. That could go on either list since I really don't mind doing them. I could even go so far as to say I quite enjoy the process. That's just me. I like a bit of this and a bit of that. Full time accounts - nah, reading books all day, every day - nah (in my head that seems heavenly but I know in reality ... NAH), exploring nature non stop - nah. To me it is about finding a way to do a bit of everything I love, not one thing to the exclusion of all others. Trying to be a stay at home wife and mum and nothing else taught me that. I am not a nice person when I feel bored and obligated, but I did have a spotless house.
For me, life should be busy, but it doesn't have to be all the hustle and bustle that people talk about. Why can't part of the busyness be finding time to lie in the sun and read a good book or whatever relaxing pastime takes your fancy without guilt or the need to justify. I believe it should be a combination of everything - family, friends, work, hobbies, playtime and time to just enjoy the wonder that is the world around us.