Signing up for surveys

Well, I decided to give online surveys a try.  In the past I did a survey on how I use the library, one of my favourite places to spend time, and they paid me $30 for my efforts so I thought why not sign up for the online version.

You can imagine my excitement when two emails arrived on my phone this morning.  Okay, excitement might be pushing it a bit, but I have to admit a smile crossed my face.  It was definitely enough to force me out of bed, through the shower and on to the computer.  I wasn't going to try and do surveys on my phone.  It's all well and good in theory to receive emails and surf the net on the phone but seriously who has the patience.  Read half a line, scroll over, scroll back, repeat.  As much as it's not for me I still find myself doing it surprisingly often even when my laptop is close at hand.  What does that say about me?

Anyhow, having left the comfort of my bed and my three snuggled cats I made it to the computer, opened my email account and clicked on the survey they emailed me at 7.21 this morning, only to find that I had already completed it.  Not to be disheartened I clicked on the second email, received not much later.  For that survey I need one of my children present.  What teenager is awake at 7.34 on a Saturday morning?  Needless to say, I have not completed a survey this morning, but I am up so I will focus on that.

Is this going to be a colossal waste of time - possibly - but it might be a bit of fun also.  So far I have $4.86 in one account, strange amount I know but it is US$5, and some points accrued in others. Not much for the time I have spent.  This morning's 20 minute survey pays $2.97 so why bother?  Curiosity I guess.

If you have ever participated in online surveys I would love to hear about your experiences.  Please share.

Besides, I can't call it a complete ride off ; I have discovered some amazing things about myself since filling in form after form on everything from my choice in health products to the amount of technology to be found in my home.  For someone who claims not to be a fan of technology I am surrounded by it and not just one of each.  I can't believe how much stuff I own and yet when I visit the shops it is amazing how much I still seem to need.

Later today I will be walking the brightly coloured Easter egg aisles with all the other last minute shoppers. I wonder if I will remember that I really don't want for anything.  I hope so, but then again if the jeans I want are on sale, maybe not.  Hey, at least I am honest but it is something I know I need to give a bit more thought.

Just because I can doesn't mean I should!

Life after homeschooling

My homeschooling journey is over.  What was supposed to be the beginning of freedom, my time for me, has been anything but.  Instead it has been busier than usual.  Before life consisted of a morning coffee, followed by lessons and so on.  Now it revolves around, "Mum I start work at 5," "Mum I don't start until 6," "Mum I finish at midnight," "Mum I need this for TAFE," and so it goes.  I spend less time in the comfort of my lounge room and more time in the driver's seat or the car park shared by Red Rooster and Hungry Jacks.  As much as I might complain sometimes, I don't mind so much.  They have jobs - I am relieved and so is our bank account.

Now that both the kids are involved in outside studies I have to admit I feel lost.  I have decided time for yourself is a much overrated thing.  It's not that I want someone to fill up my days, I am quite capable of doing that myself, it is the fear that I finally have to take charge of my own life that is paralyzing.  I have spent time agonizing over uni and TAFE courses playing the time-to-pick-a-new-career game but the exercise leaves me feeling flat.  I have made the bold decision to stick to my dream of writing and see how I go.  My husband is supportive but I am sure somewhere underneath his bravado is the wish that I would be happy with a nine-to-five job.  I have been there, and done that, and I loved it at the time, but now it feels so far in the past that I have no desire to bring it into the present and it's definitely not how I want to picture the future.  Does that make me selfish?

Maybe, but what I have found is that by making the decision to write I am now more content to look for jobs.  It is amazing what a change in perspective can do.  Instead of looking for a career job I am happy to look for part time work to subsidize our household income whilst allowing me time to pursue what feels right for me.  Are  there doubts?  Heaps, but don't we have to decide at some stage in our lives that life is for living not enduring?  I have so many friends that seem to live for Friday and that saddens me.  If so much time is spent at work shouldn't it be doing something we love or at least something we can get a bit enthusiastic about?

Maybe there is something wrong with me.  Maybe I have things a little confused.  Maybe my husband has screwed with my head, but I really don't want to change my thinking.  Adrian loves his job.  He enjoys his weekends but he never grizzles about Mondays or extra work and I know when I ran my massage business I felt the same way so I can't help but think that is what having a job is all about.  I know there are cases where people feel forced to accept any job they can get and I feel a strange admiration for people that persist with jobs they hate because they feel obligated to do so, but I have a much greater admiration for people that take the chance to follow their dreams and apply themselves to what feels right for them.  I want to be one of those people, I just hope I don't chicken out and follow the more acceptable path.

I encourage every body with a dream to follow it, especially my kids, now it is time to listen to my own advice,

stare down the fear and get on with life.  

Honesty

I haven't been here for a little while.  My heads been in a bit of a funk.  I have been tempted to visit when I have felt down but I've avoided the temptation to blurt it all out on here.  This is my happy place or it is supposed to be but does that make it honest?  Is everyone happy all the time?  I know the answer to that but if that is the case why do we pretend so much?  Wouldn't life be better for everyone if we didn't?

I don't mean we should all walk around being miserable - not by a long shot.  I do truly believe there is so much in the world to be positive about, but sometimes when things become too much I feel so alone and even though logic tells me otherwise all I see is a world of happy, bubbly people and I wonder what is wrong with me.  I'm discovering through my writing that I am actually pretty normal, or that is the conclusion I am coming to, whatever normal might be.  Maybe I just think I am normal, because it is my definition.

I can't see how it could be normal to be up, bubbly and enthusiastic every second of every day.  Maybe in a fantasy world but even then I don't think so.  Wouldn't we just stagnate?  Isn't a little bit of questioning and discontent necessary to bring about change or at least appreciation for everything life has handed us?  I am asking lots of questions today but that is how my mind works.  The answers come slowly, although sometimes not at all, but I think the secret to our happiness is in the questions that we ask and the answers that we seek.  How else can we hope to understand ourselves?  I have been asking many, many, many questions, maybe even too many over the last week or so but I am happy to say I have also discovered some answers.

I used to ask why and expect something outside of myself to answer.  Often I didn't even want an answer it was more a complaint, a why me, without any effort in discovering the answer on my part required.  That didn't get me far.  Neither has a lot of my practises but I am really trying to change that so I can change funk to spunk and I can move ahead either in a new direction or follow the same path with new purpose and resolve.

There are many different paths to choose,

This one was at Rainbow Beach in QLD

This one on Fraser Island

This one at a beach on the Sunshine Coast

 

But ultimately it will be my decision which direction I choose to head and mine alone and that is something I am going to embrace.  Fear may be natural and to a certain extent necessary but it should never be crippling. 

Life is for living, not just existing!

Lifestyle thoughts

"You've got nothing to lose."  What exactly does that mean?  I find that anytime people tell me or anyone else that, the truth is the complete opposite.  Where is this coming from?  I don't normally rant on here.  I have a job interview on Thursday and I am nervous.  Strangely, when I didn't think I would even get to interview stage, I wasn't too fussed.  That feeling changed drastically when I received the phone call telling me I had won an interview.  Yes, won, that is how I felt. 

It would seem that I don't have time to fit a job into my schedule and possibly I don't but I have always been amazed at what can be achieved when a sufficient dose of desire is added to the mix.  Yes, I will continue to home school my children, and yes I will continue to write every day, and yes I will even attempt to find time to sleep in there somewhere.  The job is only part time so I should be fine.  If not, I will find a way to make it so.

Back to my original question, what is "You've got nothing to lose," supposed to mean?  How is it supposed to offer comfort?  Of course, I have something to lose, otherwise I wouldn't be concerned about the outcome.  I have the dream of the ideal lifestyle for my family to lose and  I have a little bit of me to lose too. 

I don't tend to spend much time on things that don't mean something to me.  If I did, I would have lost one of the most precious commodoties of modern day living - time.  I know some people claim they have too much time on their hands but not many.  I like to be busy.  I like to have just that little bit more to do than I have time to achieve, maybe I am a touch insane, but I like to feel I have something to get on with.  Don't think that means that I live a frantic life, quite the opposite. 

Some of the things on my to do list are:

• plan next terms home schooling, especially the science which I have barely looked at,
• write up the end of term reports that I like to put together for both the kids and my benefit
• read the countless books scattered around my house and on my 'books I want to read' list, 
• take a photographic journey of my local beaches,
• write a collection of personal essays,
• attend a drawing class,
• draw,
• explore the National Parks and kayak the many waterways that make up the area I live in
• and, catch up with friends that I haven't seen for way too long.

This list is far from exhausted; in fact it is only the beginning.  I have left off the things I have to do, food shopping, washing, vacuuming blah, blah, blah.  Domestic goddess I am not!  I am more a do what has to be done goddess.  I have friends that love housework, or if they don't love it, they still dedicate what seems like most of their waking hours to it, that is not me, nor will it ever be. 

I forgot to mention doing the books for the business, it's end of financial year time.  That could go on either list since I really don't mind doing them. I could even go so far as to say I quite enjoy the process.  That's just me.  I like a bit of this and a bit of that.  Full time accounts - nah,  reading books all day, every day - nah (in my head that seems heavenly but I know in reality ... NAH), exploring nature non stop - nah. To me it is about finding a way to do a bit of everything I love, not one thing to the exclusion of all others.  Trying to be a stay at home wife and mum and nothing else taught me that.  I am not a nice person when I feel bored and obligated, but I did have a spotless house.

For me, life should be busy, but it doesn't have to be all the hustle and bustle that people talk about.  Why can't part of the busyness be finding time to lie in the sun and read a good book or whatever relaxing pastime takes your fancy without guilt or the need to justify.  I believe it should be a combination of everything - family, friends, work, hobbies, playtime and time to just enjoy the wonder that is the world around us. 

It's all about balance

It's grey and cold here today. The sun has decided to go back into hiding.  Many people hate this weather but I don't mind it at all.  For me it is great reading and writing weather.  On a clear, sunny day there is a level of guilt associated with spending time hidden away in my bedroom writing when I should be out enjoying the day.  Days like today, no-one would question my choice of activity.  I do compromise as much as I can and take my book outside however, I am not one of those people who can write outside.  I can write in my journal but I can not do any form of serious writing.  Maybe this is just because it's what I tell myself but regardless of the reason ...
 it is what it is.

Also, should I be writing when I am out and about or is it more beneficial for me to be observing my surroundings.  I spend a lot of time locked away on my own and whilst, (yes whilst) I enjoy that, I am aware that I need to find some balance.  Last night, I asked my husband if he minds coming home to find me in the bedroom, not waiting anxiously for his arrival in my sexiest lingerie, but writing away, our bed hidden under books and paper, his bedside table littered with coffee cups.  He is a smart boy; he answered no.  Next I asked if he minded that every evening, having dealt with dinner, I vanish again into the bedroom leaving him to his own devices until bedtime.  Again he answered no.  That's a relief. 

I have what could be easily described as an addictive personality.  It could also be described as a selfish personality.  I have suppressed my urge to write a book for more years than I care to admit to and now that I have begun in earnest I really don't want anything to stand in my way.  To me, this feels unfair to my family, since I have always put them first and I wanted to ensure that there was no resentment building up just below the surface of my domestic bliss.  At this stage it is no.

This entire conversation with my husband was had at 11pm while we were lying in bed which was probably a tad unfair.   His alarm goes off at 4.45am and he probably just wanted to go to sleep.  It's true, maybe other things crossed his mind, but I doubt any of those things were -  I hope we get to lie here and just talk all night.

Anyhow, this is where the whole balance thing comes up again.  I am still trying to find a happy balance between all the things I love, but I feel I am getting there slowly, if for no other reason than I am aware of the need to do so.  To combat my me time I am going to make a concerted effort to spend time with my hubby and to ensure that when I do, my focus is not back in the bedroom.  Actually, I am sure he wouldn't mind if that is where my focus drifted as long as my thoughts had nothing to do with my book.  He would probably put up with that though.  We have had 25 years to get used to each others foibles. If I changed too much now he might start to worry.

I know I will start to worry if I keep writing here and not in the bedroom though so that is it for today.  Balance, balance, balance!  That is my new mantra.

No more taking things for granted

I was going to put up some photos of my animals but that is not going to happen today.  Today is a relatively short post prompted by a comment I received on my photos about how beautiful where I live is.  I do know I am lucky to have such beautiful areas around me but I often take these things for granted.  It is a terrible admission but one I am honest enough to make.  Why do we take our blessings for granted?  Or even worse, forget or not notice that they are there at all?

I have lived in my house for the past 19 years.  This is the longest I have ever lived anywhere and for whatever reason I get restless.  I don't really know why since I can't imagine actually living anywhere else.  We have built our home here both literally and figuratively.  Our house itself is small, not nearly big enough for the amount of people that share our roof on a regular basis, but somehow it works.  How could I have ever doubted my place here? 

It is funny, okay sad, how blind I have become to what is around me.  On the way home from our Queensland holiday I was flicking through a tourist book that covered from Sydney to Cairns when  I came across a beautiful picture.  It was so beautiful that I proceeded to show it to my husband who happened to be driving down the expressway at the time.  (I never claimed to be overly intelligent)  Why am I telling you this?  Because, it turned out that the photo that had so strongly caught my attention was taken only a 15 minute drive from where I live. 

What's my point?  I think it is time to truly be a tourist in my own area and my own city.  When we go on holidays we expect to see beautiful things and to have great new experiences, why not everytime we step out our front door?  From now on when I go out I am going to try and remember to use my tourist eyes.  No doubt there will be an overwhelming amount of new photos appearing on here soon.

Anyhow, I have to go and get ready for my nephew's birthday celebration this afternoon.  I wonder what great things I will notice on the way?

The beauty of life

I drove 13 hours for a beachside holiday.  It rained the entire time and the beaches were closed.  At home the beaches were open and the sun was shining.  I am not saying I didn't have a great holiday, I did and so did the rest of the family but...

                                               this is only 15 minutes from my home.

              As is this.  Actually, this is only 5 minutes away. 

 

What is my point?  My point is simple really - how often do we go in search of things that are right under our noses, not just beautiful scenery but happiness, purpose and meaning?  Maybe, just maybe, these things too are always right there in front of us if only we choose to notice.

These were taken one from the backyard, the other from the front.  Proof to me that the world really is beautiful.  On the days when that can be hard to believe a little attitude, okay sometimes a big attitude change can make a huge difference.  Our perception of life is our choice.  At any moment we can choose what we wish to focus on.  Why not focus on the good?

I'm focusing on how excited I am that I have discovered how to put photos up.  Next lot will be all my animals.  If you are not a cat lover you may wish to abandon this site immediately because you will be inundated - I have four cats. 

But for now it is time for me to go and do some actual work.